In honor of my "Crohniversary" I am posting an adolescent autobiography that I recently wrote about Crohn's Disease for my human development class.
Adolescent
Autobiography
Adolescent
years are a critical time for all teenagers and the experiences during these
years often shape us into who we will become.
Our experiences during our adolescent years develop our character. My diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease has made me a
better person because of the difficulties that I am overcoming; this experience
has specifically strengthened my physical, self, emotional, and spiritual
aspects.
Diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease
October 17, 2012 I heard the words confirm
that I have Crohn’s disease. This
dramatic moment in my life shines bright in my memory and I always want to
remember this day because I am committed to never being that sick again. At the young age of sixteen I became an adult
practically overnight because of what I needed to learn and make decisions
about. In this paper I will discuss the
lessons that I have learned and how my character has developed from this
experience of living with Crohn’s Disease.
Physical
My diagnosis of Crohn’s
Disease has taught me how to be a healthy eater. I am learning specifically what I need to eat
so that I can be as healthy as possible.
The hardest part about my diagnosis is that I am not able to eat most
foods. Ultimately, this is a blessing
for me because I am much healthier as a result of my acquired knowledge of
healthy food and healthy eating habits.
Additionally, I am a healthy influence to my family, friends, ward,
classmates, and many others whom I come in contact with. I have gained knowledge about eating healthy
food and taking care of my body as a direct result from my disease. Still today I follow a strict diet that has
blessed me with much recovery.
Secondly, I have learned
how much physical activity my body can handle and how much exercise is good for
me. Living daily with Crohn’s Disease is
very fatiguing. Although I love to run,
I have had times where I have had to not run during the entire cross-country
season because I was so sick. On the
other hand, I have learned when it is healthy and rewarding to challenge myself
physically. My senior year of
cross-country I improved my 5K time by fifteen minutes as a direct result from
my hard work and knowledge of how much physical activity my body can handle. Today, I am still acquiring new knowledge
about how strenuously I need to exercise.
Thirdly, resulting from
my diagnosis I have learned that stress directly correlates with my physical
health. Because I have learned this, I
am on the process of learning how to manage and lower my stress levels so that
I can achieve optimal health. I have tried
and am trying many stress management techniques, including neurofeedback. I am able to talk about my stress, talking
about it improves my physical health.
Today, I carefully monitor my stress levels because I have learned that
stress correlates with my overall health.
Lastly, I have learned a
great deal about what contributes to overall health. This includes: managing emotions, eating
healthy, getting the right amount of exercise, getting enough sleep, and many
other factor contributing to overall health.
I have been introduced to numberless resources, websites, doctors, and
books that are teaching me what I need to learn about achieving overall health
so that I can manage my Crohn’s Disease to the best of my ability. At my current age I am continuing to research
overall health so that I can remain as healthy as possible.
Self
Resulting from my diagnosis of Crohn’s
Disease I have come to truly know myself: including my strengths and
weaknesses. My diagnosis has caused a
lot of introspection and pondering about how to heal from this trial. I have had to look deeply at my character to
understand and truly believe that I can do hard things. I have come to a realization that although it
can be terrifying to go to multiple hospital visits, have multiple tests and
procedures done, take various medications, and be open and honest about how I
am feeling; it is all worth it because I achieve a sense of accomplishment and
healing that accompanies all discomfort I experience. This has strengthened my overall sense of my
personal self. Today, I am able to more
fully enjoy life because I truly know myself.
Secondly, consequential
of my diagnosis I have a clear career choice.
Observing and appreciating all the nurses who have taken care of me has
helped me decide with clarity that I am going to become a nurse. Vivid in my memory is the moment I awoke from
surgery and the two nurses who were there to comfort me. I want to be one of those nurses because I
want to help others just like they have helped me. Going through the journey of Crohn’s Disease
has helped me to identify that it is more satisfying to focus on helping others
rather than helping myself. Because I
have a clear career choice I am working hard today so that I will be accepted
into the nursing program.
Thirdly, because of
Crohn’s Disease I strive to keep an eternal perspective. This eternal
perspective strengthens myself because it allows me to embrace the difficult
days because I have hope for better days ahead.
When I am in pain or I am sad I remember that I will not be sick
forever. I look forward to the
resurrection with more excitement than anything else. I know that one day I will have a perfectly
healthy body that will be able to do more than what I am able to do now. This knowledge and hope strengthens me
personally because it strengthens my character and builds me up. Daily I allow this eternal perspective to
help me through any difficult days that inevitably will arise.
Lastly, resulting from
my own suffering I have developed empathy for others. My increased amounts of
empathy towards others manifests itself in various ways: including my C.N.A. job, talking with others
who also have Crohn’s Disease, bearing my testimony, and simply just observing
others trials makes me grateful for what I do have. I am thankful that I have increased empathy
as a product of this trial and experience that I have gone through during my
adolescent years. Because of this
developed empathy I always try to understand how others are feeling and how I
can help them.
Emotional
Crohn’s Disease taught me how to adequately express my feelings and
this provides emotional healing for me. The greatest result from my experience
with Crohn’s Disease is the blog that I have started and the blessings that
have come from it. I am able to bless
others through my blog as I share my story; my blog also contains recipes,
spiritual strength, and other resources that reach out to those with Crohn’s
and to those who simply face trials. I
have received many emails from individuals thanking me for being brave enough
to share my story and this motivates me to continue blogging. Additionally, I have personally been blessed
by my blog because it has provided emotional healing for me. Clearly writing out my feelings about Crohn’s
Disease allows me to channel my overwhelming emotions towards a method of coping
and ultimately healing. Today my blog
continues to grow and has reached twelve different countries as I express my
feelings and find emotional healing throughout this journey.
Secondly, I am learning how to avoid
the feelings of jealousy. When I was
sixteen, the hardest part of this situation included social situations that
involved food. I had to learn at a young
age to be happy for others and that jealousy is an emotion that is to be
avoided. It is still easy to be envious
of others health and their ability to indulge in food; however, because of the
lessons I received while I was sixteen I am able to avoid these feelings as
often as possible. I have learned for
myself that happiness for others is a worthwhile pursuit. Everyday I am faced with a situation where I
am blessed with the opportunity to look past jealousy and be happy for others.
Thirdly, nearly two years after my
diagnosis I am finally reaching a level of acceptance of the situation. I have
learned that my diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease is not a punishment and this has strengthened
me emotionally. Furthermore, I have
learned (am learning) to fully embrace Crohn’s Disease and all that it entails
for me. I am learning how to identify
both the blessings and the curses. Since
the age of sixteen I have tried to find the blessings in the curse and
accordingly titled my blog after that. Reaching a level of acceptance while
fully embracing Crohn’s as I search for blessings continually strengthens me
emotionally and makes me able to bear greater challenges. Because of this level of acceptance I have
reached, nearly everyday I list a blessing that I have found on my blog.
Lastly, resulting from this
experience I have become very fearful.
It scared me to receive such a diagnosis, to be tested, poked, prodded,
and to discuss the scary side effects of my medication. In fact, I am still fearful today. I am fearful that while in college, away from
home, I will become very sick again and this scares me immensely. Today, I have learned to let fear motivate me
to take care of my body so that I can stay healthy. Daily I am choosing to focus on faith rather
than fear.
Spiritual
Spiritual growth and strength has carried me through this enormous
trial and I have received a strong testimony about the Atonement. The strongest part of my testimony is of the
Atonement and I have personally experienced the enabling strength that comes
from the Atonement and nothing else.
Many times I have felt sad because I have felt that no one else
understands my trial; Jesus Christ understands my trial perfectly. I have a testimony that Jesus Christ not only
knows what Crohn’s Disease feels like; he knows what it feels like for me to experience Crohn’s Disease. Similarly, I have received a testimony that
the Atonement works like this for every individual. This testimony has strengthened me and will
continue to do so as I continually navigate on this lifelong journey. Everyday I am reminded of the powerful
effects of the Atonement.
Secondly, resulting from this
experience I have a sure testimony of the power of prayer. I have a testimony that Heavenly Father is
anxiously waiting to hear from us and that he already knows what we need. He is just waiting for us to ask for what we
need. Many times in my adolescent years
as well as today I pray for health, strength, and peace. Countless times my prayers have been answered
and I was given strength to finish my race, wake up for school, and conquer
whatever obstacle stood in my way.
Because of answered prayers I have a testimony about the power and
importance of prayer. I use my testimony
of the power of prayer daily as I remember to ask for the things that I stand
in need of.
Thirdly, I have an increased
appreciation for the Priesthood and have been blessed many times by the
Priesthood. I am very grateful for my Dad
who has been available to give me blessings any time they have been needed. I have learned to not hesitate to ask for a
priesthood blessing. Today, I am
recognizing that the Priesthood can bless me in college and am aware of those
who are here to bless me through the Priesthood power.
Lastly, because of this experience I
have learned to trust my Heavenly Father.
I have a testimony that Heavenly Father does not send trials that are
too hard to handle or because he does not love us. Rather, he sends them simply because he loves us. I have a testimony that if I trust Heavenly
Father he will mold me into the person whom he has in mind. Today I trust that Heavenly Father has a
devein design and that with his help I will become much more than I could ever
become on my own.
Conclusion
In conclusion, my
experience of living and being diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease greatly impacted
me as an individual and has helped my adolescent character to mature. I am very grateful for this experience
because of the provided opportunities to strengthen my physical, self,
emotional, and spiritual aspects of my adolescent character as well as the
person I am today.
Tonight I look forward to celebrating this day with my family.
Happy October 17th!
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