Gratitude.

Gratitude. Period. No "if's" "and's" or "buts".

This is what I have learned and re-learned this week. In many moments I pushed through with what felt like a "herculean" effort. Often times I am fighting silent trials while appearing on the outside to be 100%. I mean, I did just run a half marathon yesterday. Everything looks just fine, right?

I am writing this with reality because social media can use a dose or two of that.

Well, behind every pair of eyes lies hidden trials. We all have them. And as we open up to others it allows them to love us and for us to give others the chance to serve. That is hard to do.

I have been training for the half marathon I just finished yesterday for the past 3 months. By training I mean trying my absolute hardest to give it my all. By giving my all I mean by accepting my limitations. Especially my physical ones. It can be so frustrating to some days be able to run 10 miles just fine and then other days not even be able to finish 3 miles because my stomach is deciding to be fussy. It can be frustrating to have trained for 3 months hoping to pr, only to meet your limitations face-to-face and take two bathroom stops and realized that was possibly your window to pr. It can be frustrating.

Emphasis "can be" because it doesn't have to be frustrating if you choose to see it that way.

Choose gratitude!

For everything.

And yes, I am even grateful for my fussy tummy. Eh.

Yesterday as I was cruising down the canyon and more slowly jogging through the trailways after the canyon, I became extremely emotional. This race was sponsored by IHC and ALL the proceeds went to help local cancer patients. Wigs, treatments options, travel, etc. Such a great cause! Anyway, as we began running I quickly noticed that I was in good company when it came to physical limitations, and well really any trial for that matter. Shirts all around me either showed a picture of a loved one they were running in honor of, and many others were either cancer survivors or CURRENTLY battling cancer that very day. Wow. Talk about tough.

There is this magical phenomenon that happens when you push your body to the very edge of what it can do. And well, yesterday I was pushed. And as I ran the tears came. The past two weeks leading up to the race my stomach took a turn, training had been going well, but some stress had aggravated it. Thus, making my last two weeks of training up to 3 miles max per day. Some days only 1.5. Yesterday morning at 3:15 am I was thinking to myself, "how in the world am I going to be able to race 13.1 miles?!"

Let me tell you how. My Savior felt my pain and my desire to do well, and because I believed so badly in that, well, I began to believe in myself too. Next, I remembered my daddy and his positive affirmations he has taught me to do. I literally started to say out loud to myself "I am Camille Kemp and I CAN do hard things!" Heck, at that point I didn't even care if people could hear me talking to myself. I was tough, and I was going to finish. And finish at my best with my given circumstances.

Next, I need to give a shoutout to my wonderful mom. Mom, first of all, thank you for registering me for the race and believing me to do it! You pushed me when I needed to be pushed. Thank you. Also, you are a CHAMP. Mom, really. I don't know how many people know this but you battled your own herculean effort yesterday. Running with one "repaired" achilles tendon and one that is extremely inflamed and I'm sure very painful. And that is an understatement. So often am I complaining to you that my "problems" don't seem to be going away when you have had your struggle for a very long time too.

Running just wouldn't be as enjoyable if there wasn't something to overcome. We all have something to overcome and I think that is why so many like to run. There is joy in the journey. There is joy in overcoming.

Lastly, I am very very grateful. Yes grateful to have finished. No, I did not pr and get under 1:41. But I did get under two hours and receive an honorable time of 1:55. I am proud of myself and can not take all the credit. I am thankful for all who had part in this journey. And I am thankful for God and for my body and for all that it can do.

And it can do a lot.

Next time you are feeling discouraged. Try, gratitude.


P.S. This race was for you, Grandpa!