I can do hard things! And so can my daughter!

I knew I wanted to write a blog post today. But some of the thoughts in my mind sound like:

"Are my readers tired of hearing about pregnancy?" (Because that's all I want to talk about!)

"How much should I really share?" (This is a digestive disease after all, and many of my readers don't even have IBD) 

"I'm doing so great, but what about my mini scare, do I share that?" 

And the inner dialogue in my head continues. But then I think of some very bold and brave people who I look up to, and they share a lot. So surely this will help someone. And when it does, please let me know. Hearing how this blog touches just one heart, leads me to keep writing.

So here it goes, ugh sigh..

IBD is here and here to stay in my body for the long haul folks. It is chronic after all. Does that mean I have thrown in the towel or given up? NO WAY JOSE!! Quite the opposite actually. I have accepted it as a part of my life.  Having reminders come up that are like "hi yes, it's me Crohn's and I'm baaack muahahaha" really get annoying after time haha. But annoying is much better than worried. (I'm still working on the worried part too).

And this annoyance about Crohn's leads me into action. To be tough. In fact, I want my daughter to know that she too is TOUGH. I have had this saying all throughout my journey "I CAN DO HARD THINGS!" Which is why my baby is going to grow up knowing that saying in and out. Because she will be able to do hard things. We are sharing my imperfect body together, and she is thriving. And that is HARD! 

Sometimes it's scary thinking about what happens when she grows up and I get sick. How does a mother explain that? Or what about my injections? Will she watch those? Or when I am stuck in the bathroom and she is crying and I can't rush to her?

Yes. That will be hard.

But hard makes strong people. And strong people make the world better. I am a better person because of what I have experienced and she will be stronger, more compassionate, and able to identify the "blessing in the curse" in this world.

This week when I had my fissure rupture or get a rumbly stomach that instantly brings me back to summer of 2018, I was SCARED. But when I take a deep breath, and remember that God is in control and that I was promised this little girl, I'm not so scared anymore. Because I see Gods hand most during those quite moments that still scare me quite a lot. In a very strange way, I almost enjoy feeling some (mild) pain that reminds me of who I am, what I've been through, and that if and when things come up again I will be ok. I enjoy it, because that is when I feel the spirit the most.




(Even her little arm know that she can do tough things!!!) 

I'm working on being more open and sharing my symptoms in a (tasteful) way. But yes, I still get symptoms. And yes, they remind me that I and my daughter can do hard things!
Now tell me, what has taught you that you can do hard things?!