Support for Caregivers

Tomorrow, I will be hosting a support group for those with Crohn's and Colitis. Find out more here! It will be in Provo Utah every first Wednesday of the Month.

While I have never been a caregiver for IBD myself, I know that I have watched and observed, and even felt bad for those who have helped me so much. It is a lot to ask to be driven around, sat with, helped with medical costs, emotional support, and so much more! Here are my best observations:

Support for Caregivers

1.  Ask for Help- Do not sit alone in the dark on this. Let people know what is going on. That is how my blog got started in the first place. When I saw neighbors talk to my mom to lend her the hand of support, that got me teary eyed. Do not be embarrassed to let people know what is going on. If you need to see a therapist, do it. If you need religious help, ask. If you need more family involvement, let them know. 
2. Take time for Yourself- This is one of the hardest yet simplest ones from my observation. The year of my horrible flare, my mom learned the violin. This made me so happy to see her have an outlet for herself. You must first be in good condition to be able to help someone in a low spot. Get your sleep, eat healthy (don't skip meals!), find a hobby, exercise daily. You can find a list of reasons a-z not to prioritize yourself. But I tell you that if you do, you will better be able to serve. And it will prevent you from reaching your own breaking point. 
3. Acknowledge that it's Hard- It doesn't have to be hard all the time, but come on, we all know that it isn't easy. If you are always wearing a smile and only cry when you are alone and it slips out, then you know that you have burdens you need to let go of. Chances are, the individual you are caring for will actually feel good to be able to comfort you too. spend the time talking together about this trial, find time in discussion to identify the "blessing (s) in the curse".  
4. One day at a Time- When I was really sick. And I mean really sick. I could barely think of the next hour. But what about the caregiver who doesn't see an end to this flare? Focus on the journey. Maybe it's celebrating the little victories, like being able to go on a brief 5 minute walk. Or eating a real meal again together. Maybe its looking forward to something in the foreseeable future. I tell my patients all the time (as a Health Coach) to not focus on the ultimate goal or but to set little victories along the way. 
5. Gratitude- The simplest, yet perhaps most important one. Have gratitude for all things. Gratitude for your strength and courage (believe in yourself!) Gratitude for the ability to laugh at how insanely ridiculously hard life can get sometimes! And Gratitude for the strength, and character qualities that you are developing. You are going through this because you are strong enough. Keep a journal, notice the beautiful in each day.