Becoming Soft

There once was a potato and an egg. Both were placed into the same pot of water. The water was hot, the conditions were rough. Neither could stay the way they were before they entered the scene. After removing the potato and egg something interesting happened. The potato became soft and the egg became hard.

Now what is the point of this silly story?

Life is often the pot of boiling water and we are all immersed in trials at one time or another. We all begin with a blank slate and the chance to become either hard or soft. I am referencing our attitude to difficult things in life, our testimony and loyalty and love of our Savior, and our overall demeanor and perspective on life.

So ask yourself, do you become hard or soft?

Friends, family, random people reading this blog, I am in the pot of boiling water. And it is hot. Uncomfortable. And I cannot wait to get out. My body has been fighting a Crohn's flare for quite some time now during one of the happiest times of my life. I am becoming soft.

I'm not really sure why, but during my sickness, I have rarely become hard. And when I do it is fleeting and quickly leaves. Life is hard enough, why make it harder by fighting against the inevitable? My reality now is that this flare is really hard. That is pretty much out of my control after doing all that is in my power (taking medicine, naps, nutrition, patience). But what will always be in control is my reaction to the hard. I love my Savior Jesus Christ, and He loves me. I am 100% confident that if Crohn's Disease were not entirely necessary for me to learn whatever the heck of lesson(s) that I am supposed to be learning that I would not have it. So for now, I just sit back and buckle up and learn. And try to be patient. Patience is the hardest attribute of all I think.

Every time that I get sick again I KNOW that I need to write on my blog. And often, I wait until I feel better and stronger and so that I can show my "good side". Well guess what? This is me writing at a low point, and still telling you that it is going to be ok. I write this blog to let anyone and everyone reading this learn how to identify their own "blessing in the curse". So if this post or blog has helped you, please let me know in the comments or just by telling me. It can be scary to write but I know that it is something I need to do. I write for you, and I write for me too.

I also need to give a shoutout to my wonderful and amazing fiancé, Seth. Seth, I love you and you are so strong and I want to be just like you. I often want to apologize that this trial exists, but I will not. Because I know that at least for now it is supposed to be here and that we will be ok. And that together it will bring us closer to our Savior. Together we will come to realize and understand truly what "blessing in the curse" means for us. I love you.

So, as part of staying and becoming soft while I am in this pot of boiling water, that I do not know when it will end, I am identifying the lessons that I am learning along the way:

1. I am loved by so many. Friends, family, neighbors, my fiancé, God, etc.
2. Some things are simply out of my control. Do what I can do, and after that sit back and enjoy the ride. And yes, I said enjoy. There is still much to rejoice in and enjoy. I mean, I did just get engaged after all :)))))
3. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. It is not my fault that I have this nor that my body is underperforming. I love myself and yes, my little broken intestines just the way they are. But it will also be nice when they decide to get their act together ;)
4. Open up. When I actually tell people what is going on, then it allows me more chances for support, understanding, and help.
5. It's ok to take it easy. Sometimes you just need a nap and that's ok.
6. Dr.'s are good guys who honestly want to help. I have had some pretty rotten Dr.'s in the past that have scared me. But they are not all this way. Many of my Dr.'s have even given out their personal phone numbers and/or email to me because they truly want to help.
7. There certainly is a time and place for medicine. Sometimes tea and natural things just won't cut it. I am grateful for my medicine right now.
8. We all have bodies and with that means they all do normal body functions haha. I am not gross, this just happens to me and I am learning to roll with the punches.
9. I have this for a reason and God loves me 100% and has told me that I will be ok.
10. I am crazy tough.
11. It will be really nice to feel better, and that is ok to look forward to.